


Anything

by QueenofSchmoop



Series: Anything 'verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU for that episode, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, M/M, Schmoop, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Spoilers for "All Hell Breaks Loose" parts 1 and 2, Wincest-Freeform, canon character death(s), possessive!dean, powers!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:07:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: Basically this is just an AU of AHBL parts 1 and 2 with a Wincest-y twist/angle/additions.





	Anything

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my very first Wincest fics I ever wrote. I am posting it largely unaltered (with a few tweaks and corrections) here, as it was put up elsewhere before.

Dean Winchester stepped away from his brother’s body, watching the dead weight settle onto the bed. Bobby stood behind him, in respectful silence. He left that way as well. 

Dean stayed. He could not bear to leave his brother’s side. Though it tore him up to stare at Sam’s dead body, to see his failure laying there before his eyes, neither could he leave. 

Bobby came and went but still Dean stayed. Sometimes he sat in the chair and sometimes he stood. He spoke to Bobby a few times when the older hunter came to check on him but mostly he kept silent. 

Keeping the screaming inside. 

When Bobby came home and offered him food and comfort he pushed him away. He wanted to feel the pain, wanted to burn with it. He deserved to burn. His Sammy was dead. He had failed. He had lost him. He deserved every moment of the pain, he thought. 

He knew what Bobby was trying to say when he told Dean that he didn’t want to leave him alone. He knew Bobby was thinking Dean would do something drastic, like eating his gun. And Dean had thought about it. To follow Sam in death, to end it all. The world was likely to end soon anyway. Why not? 

But he didn’t. 

When he had succeeded in driving Bobby away he went back to Sam. He sat down and went to speak. To say something about how when Sam was 5 he started asking questions and about how he had always tried to protect Sam in life. From everything. How he tried to keep him safe. 

But the words would not come. 

Instead he found himself walking over to the bed and sitting down beside his brother. A hand went to that still soft hair, sliding down to the cool cheek. 

“Sam,” Dean finally spoke, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I ever came to get you at Stanford and dragged you back into this life.” A tear fell from Dean’s eye. He bent over and buried his face in the crook of Sam’s neck. He still smelled like Sam. 

Dean stood and strode out, jumping into the Impala and gunning the engine. He peeled out and headed down the road. 

Headed back to the Crossroads he had seen on their way here. 

Once there he grabbed a battered tin and shoved what was needed into it. He buried it and waited. When no one came he screamed. “Come on, you bitch!”

“Now Dean,” came a sultry feminine voice from behind him, “is that any way to talk to a lady?”

Dean turned, a tight smile on his face. “You’re no lady.”

The red eyed demon smiled. “No, I suppose not. Well, what can I do for you today, Dean?”

He stepped closer to her. “I want to make a deal.”

She laughed, laughed right in his face. “Oh that’s good! Now that your precious Sammy is dead you’re ready to deal? I guess that shows what it takes for you huh? No deal for Daddy but for Sammy…” she trailed off meaningfully. 

“Same as before. You bring Sam back and I get 10 years.”

She laughed again. “Please. That was the deal for your Dad. For Sam it’s different. In fact, maybe I shouldn’t even bother. After all,” she purred, “you’re going to hell anyway, Deano, when you finally kick it.”

Dean stood stock still. Then he made his whole body relax. “Yeah, I know.” And he did. He’d known for a while now that he was going to burn when he died. Because of…well, it didn’t matter now. What mattered was getting the demon to deal. “But if you do this you own my soul, sweetheart,” he cajoled. “Dean Winchester’s soul to do with as you will. For eternity in Hell. Ain’t that something worth dealing for?”

“Sure have a high opinion of yourself,” she mused. “But still, you’re right. That bitch who got your father sure does brag enough about bagging ‘the great John Winchester’. It’d be nice…” she trailed off, biting her lip and turning away. 

Dean waited. 

She turned back. “Okay. But you don’t get 10 years.”

“What? But that’s what—“

“I told you, that was for your Daddy. No, for Sam you get one year.”

Dean swore. “No.”

“This isn’t a negotiation, Dean. One year of life and then I get your soul in exchange for Sammy back.”

“9 years,” Dean retorted. 

“What part of ‘not a negotiation’ do you not get?” She knew she had Dean over a barrel, knew that Dean would do anything, take any deal in order to get Sam back. 

Dean’s fists clenched but he made himself relax. “One year. And you bring Sam back just as he was.”

“Emo and all,” she agreed. She stepped up and grabbed his face and smashed their lips together in a fierce kiss, sealing the deal. 

At that same moment Sam opened his eyes.

Dean returned to the hideout with trepidation. He walked slowly but deliberately toward the room where Sam had been. His heart was hammering. He poked his head around the corner and saw—

“Sammy?”

Sam turned away from the mirror. “Dean? Man, what hap—“ but that was as far as Sam got because Dean crossed the room and threw his arms around his younger brother and hugged him hard. 

“Ow! Dean, what the hell?”

Dean pulled back a bit but stayed with his arms around Sam. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Like hell,” Sam replied somewhat sarcastically. “Like I’ve been stabbed. Dean, you’re kinda hurting my back.”

“Oh.” Dean released Sam but did not step back. He couldn’t help it, his hand went up to touch Sam’s cheek and he nearly cried at the warmth he felt there. 

“Dude, what is up with you?” Sam inquired. 

“Nothing.” Dean cleared his throat. “Here, c’mon and sit down. Back bothering you?”

“Yeah. Man, what happened?”

Dean hedged, “what do you remember?”

Sam thought about it. “I remember hearing your voice and then seeing you and Bobby. I remember a sharp pain in my back,” Sam touched that spot, “and then I remember seeing you running toward me. You looked,” Sam stopped and then said, “really upset.”

“Yeah well,” Dean tried for his old tone of voice, “you were an idiot to get stabbed like that, man. You should have known better.”

Sam smiled. “Suppose so. It must have been pretty bad though huh?”

Dean fought not to close his eyes. “Yeah pretty bad. But you’re fine now.” It was like he was telling himself too. 

“Well my back hurts like hell but yeah, I should be 100% soon.” 

Just then both Sam and Dean’s stomachs rumbled. The boys looked at each other and then laughed. “I guess you’re hungry,” Dean remarked with a smile. 

“You too.” 

Half an hour later they were munching on pizza and Sam was telling Dean everything that had gone down in the ghost town. 

“Whoa. Intense.”

“Yeah.”

“That was everything the demon told you?”

Sam looked up at that face and thought for a minute about lying or just leaving it out but something compelled him to tell the truth. “No. Actually there was something else.”

Dean looked surprised. It wasn’t like Sammy to skip something. Usually his narratives were annoyingly complete. “What is it, Sam?”

Sam wouldn’t look at Dean. “In the dream or whatever. The demon. He showed me something. He showed me that when he came to me that night,” and Sam still wasn’t looking at Dean, “he showed me….that he fed me some of his blood.” That was not at all what Dean was expecting to hear. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. 

Sam, still without looking at his brother, asked, “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Say something.”

“Just did.”

Sam let out a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “You know what I mean.”

Dean nodded though Sam didn’t see that either. “So the demon fed you some blood.”

“Yeah. I think,” here Sam paused, “I think that might be what gave me my powers. The visions and all. It’s the demon’s blood in me.” At last Sam spoke of his fear. “I’m tainted, Dean. It’s why Gordon—“

Dean interrupted by grabbing Sam’s shoulder and forcing him to face him. “That son of a bitch was a friggin’ moron, Sammy. And you are not tainted. Don’t you ever say that, you understand.”

Sam was stunned. He’d rarely seen Dean like this. “Dean—“

“No! Dammit, Sammy, you listen to me.” Dean placed both hands on Sam’s shoulders. “You are not tainted. If that yellow eyed son of a bitch did this to you then we’ll find a way to undo it. But you are still Sam Winchester, the best person I know. You told me you didn’t kill Jake, right?” Sam nodded. “See? Not evil.” Dean couldn’t help himself. He moved his right hand from Sam’s shoulder and cupped his face. “You are the most not-evil person I know, Sammy. And this blood thing is just some demon shit we’re gonna undo for you.”

He saw Sam struggling to believe in him and so he bent down close and whispered, “believe it, Sammy. Has your big brother ever lied to you?”

That made Sam laugh. And if there was a teary quality to the laugh Dean ignored it as he stepped back and gave Sam a bit of space. 

“C’mon,” Dean broke the moment. “We gotta head over to Bobby’s.”

Sam nodded. 

As he knocked on Bobby’s door Dean knew that Bobby was not going to be happy when he opened it and saw a living Sam standing there. He really did not give a damn, he just didn’t want the old man blowing the secret. So he was prepared when Bobby opened up and gaped at Sam. 

“Yeah, I know. He looks good for a guy who almost died, right?” Dean pushed past Bobby and walked in. 

“Hey Bobby. Dean told me what you did for me. Thanks a lot.”

Bobby turned to shoot a dark look at Dean and then turned back to Sam. “It was nothing, kid. I see you’re all better now.”

“Back still hurts a bit but yeah. Thanks.”

They convened their little group and talked about what had happened in the ghost town and what Bobby had been seeing since then. They were still chatting when Bobby said he needed Dean’s help outside with something. 

“Grab yourself another beer, Sam,” Bobby told him as he practically pushed Dean out the door. 

“We’ll be right back,” Dean told him. 

Sure enough Bobby took Dean to task for making the deal with the demon. When he found out he had only gotten one year in return the older man really lost it. He was letting Dean have it when they heard the noise that turned out to be Ellen. 

Once back inside Ellen told them how she had escaped from the Roadhouse. “Was Jo with you?” Sam thought to ask. 

“No. She hasn’t been back to the Roadhouse in a while. I called her but all I got was her voicemail. She and I,” and here Ellen paused, “haven’t been talking much lately.”

“Know the feeling,” Sam muttered softly. He noticed Dean looking at him and sat up straighter, trying to wince as he did. “So we need to figure out our next move.”

After some investigating and talking, they deciphered Samuel Colt’s Devil’s Trap and knew they had to go there. Bobby and Ellen would go in the truck, they decided and Sam and Dean in the Impala. They loaded both vehicles with all kinds of weapons and protections, knowing this fight would need their all. 

For a little while in the car Dean was quiet and so was Sam. Then Sam turned to his brother. 

“Dean?”

“Mmmm?”

“I was dead, wasn’t I?”

Dean slammed on the brake and they screeched to a halt. “What the fuck, Sammy?!”

Sam was calm. “I was dead, wasn’t I?”

Dean stared at his brother. “What gave you a stupid idea like that?”

“The way Bobby reacted to me. The way you’re acting.”

“Sam, I swear—“

“I died. And you did something to bring me back.”

“Sam…”

“You did. I know you, Dean. You made a deal. With the Crossroads demon?”

“If you’re just gonna carry both sides of the conversation—“

“What did you get? 10 Years?”

Dean pressed his lips together and said nothing. 

“Less than that?”

Still nothing. 

“Dean? How long?”

“Sam,” but Dean did not know what to say. 

Sam moved across the Impala’s bucket seat. He put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “How long?”

Dean looked out the driver’s side window. “One year.”

No one and nothing moved or made a sound in the car. “Why?”

Dean turned to look at Sam, confused. “Why what?”

“Why did you do it? Weren’t you the one who said ‘what’s dead should stay dead?’ Weren’t you the one who hated that Dad made the deal to save you? And here you are doing the same to me!” Sam was shouting now. 

Dean shouted back. “What the fuck was I supposed to do, Sam? Leave you dead? I couldn’t do that.”

“Why?!” Sam screamed. “Because you always have to take care of me? Because you think I’m your responsibility or something?!”

And Dean, without thinking, screamed back. “Because I love you, you asshole!” He got instantly quiet but Sam didn’t notice.

Sam shouted again, “I know you do. I’m little Sammy to you, always got to take care of your baby brother and—“

But Dean had had it. In a move that would have made his father proud he shoved Sam back and grabbed his face and laid the kiss of a lifetime on his brother’s lips. He felt Sam go still under him but didn’t stop. He kissed his Sammy at long last. When he let go he moved back and said in a soft but tight voice, “you always were kinda slow, Sammy. Now do you get it? I love you,” Dean’s voice turned mocking, “like that. I was always going to go to hell because of it, so at least this way I get something in return.”

Sam sat and stared.

Dean waited for him to say something and after several minutes of silence he waved his hand in front of his brother’s face. “Did I break you, Sammy?”

Sam slowly lifted one hand and pressed his fingertips to his lips. “You kissed me,” he spoke at last. 

Dean snorted. “And people say you’re the smart one.”

“You _kissed _me.”__

__“Yep.”_ _

__Sam blinked. “You love me?”_ _

__Dean fought not to roll his eyes. “Yes. Though God knows why right now.”_ _

__Sam blinked a few more times. “You like me like that?”_ _

__“No,” Dean said, “I love you like that. I really did break your brain, didn’t I?”_ _

__Sam just sat, looking at him. Dean sighed and started the car back up again. He pulled back out onto the highway and resumed driving._ _

__The silence ended when a cell phone rang. Dean patted his pockets and found his._ _

__“Yeah? No Bobby, we’re okay. Just had to stop for a second. No, Sam had to pee.”_ _

__“Dean!”_ _

__“So you can talk,” Dean shot at him, smirking. “No, was talking to Sam, Bobby. Yeah we’re back on the road again. We’ll catch up to you in a bit.” He hung up._ _

__“Jerk.”_ _

__“Bitch.”_ _

__“Dean?”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“You’re the straightest guy I know. There’s no way you’re gay.”_ _

__“Who said anything about gay?”_ _

__“Um, when you like another guy and want to kiss him, I think that’s called gay.”_ _

__“No, if you like guys—note the plural, Sammy—and want to kiss them and do more with them then yeah, that’s called gay. But if you mostly like women except for your annoying but adorable little brother then it’s called fucked up. It would be called bi if it weren’t for the brother thing, ya see.”_ _

__Sam snorted. Then he paused. “Are you saying you only like girls and no boys? Except for me?”_ _

__Dean shot Sam a look. “Duh.”_ _

__“And wait, doing more? Does that mean you want to ‘do more’ with me?” Sam paused again. “Also, did you just call me adorable?”_ _

__Dean nearly laughed, this was fun. “I really did kiss you stupid, didn’t I?”_ _

__“Shut up.”_ _

__“Make me.”_ _

__“You just want to kiss me again.”_ _

__“Hell yeah.”_ _

__That stopped Sam cold._ _

__“You do?”_ _

__“Well yeah, Sam.” Dean didn’t back off. “And yes I do want to do more with you—I’d tell you about some of the stuff I want to do to your body but since we already fried your noggin….”_ _

__Sam flushed a bright red. “Dean!”_ _

__Dean laughed. Inside his brain was screaming at him for telling the secret. He told it to shut up._ _

__“Dean, you’ve always wanted women, never guys.”_ _

__“Just explained that.”_ _

__“You’ve never even indicated—“_ _

__“Sam,” Dean cut him off. “I’ve been in love with you since you were 16 and wanted you for nearly that long. Yes, I chased women. Did you ever notice though, that I never let any of them catch me?”_ _

__“Cassie—“_ _

__“Cassie was the closest. It was just after you left and all that. But if I had really loved her I would have found a way to work it out.”_ _

__“Yeah, you would have,” Sam agreed._ _

__Dean said, “I couldn’t very well tell her that I gave my heart to my little brother a long time ago, could I?”_ _

__“You’ve really been in love with me since I was 16?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“You never showed it.”_ _

__Dean snorted. “Kinda the point, Sam.”_ _

__“So why tell me now?”_ _

__“Cause you are an annoying little bitch who will not let things go.”_ _

__“Hey, did you just call the man you love a bitch?”_ _

__“I did. I have many times before and I expect to again. Just because I’m in love doesn’t mean I’m blind, dude.”_ _

__Sam grinned then it faded. “But all those people who thought we were a couple? What about them and how you reacted?”_ _

__“I see you’re not getting the whole ‘I’m in love with my brother and that means it’s incest and he’s straight so I should really not tell him’ thing.”_ _

__“You really--?”_ _

__“I swear, Sammy, if you ask me that again I will shoot you myself.”_ _

__“No you wouldn’t.”_ _

__“Yes, I would.”_ _

__“No, you wouldn’t.”_ _

__“Yes, I would.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“But you love me.”_ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“And you’d shoot me?”_ _

__“To stop you asking annoying questions? Yes.”_ _

__“But you love me.”_ _

__“You already said that.”_ _

__“And you want to kiss me and do more with me and stuff.”_ _

__“Sam.”_ _

__“So if you shoot me--”_ _

__“Sam!”_ _

__Sam grinned._ _

__“You seem to be taking this pretty well,” Dean remarked._ _

__“You think so?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“Inside I am totally freaking out.”_ _

__“Me too.”_ _

__“But you’ve had time to get used to it.”_ _

__“Not you knowing about it.”_ _

__“That’s true.”_ _

__Moments passed in silence._ _

__“So what do we do now?”_ _

__“I’m thinking we should go find this Devil’s Trap and stop it. What do you think?”_ _

__“Such a jerk.”_ _

__“Such a bitch.”_ _

__“I meant—“_ _

__“Yeah, I know what you meant, Sammy. Just…let it lie for a while, all right?Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and the demon will show up and kill me and---mmmph!”_ _

__Dean stepped on the brakes again as Sam kissed him hard._ _

__“Sam!”_ _

__“Don’t even joke about that! Do you understand? Don’t even joke.”_ _

__“You just kissed me!”_ _

__“And it apparently broke _your _brain. Or maybe it was broken before that for you to say such a stupid ass thing!”___ _

____“Sam—“_ _ _ _

____“No. Shut up. You think I want you to die? You think I’m angry that you love me, _yes like that _? I’m not. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I mean, I just found out I died and you bartered with a demon to get me back and only have 1 year to live and that you love me and want to have wild monkey sex with me and that you have a death wish apparently so I don’t know what I feel. But I don’t want you to die. So never. Say. That. Again. Got it?”___ _ _ _

______Dean looked amused. “Wild monkey sex?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course that would be what you fixate on.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wild monkey sex.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just drive. Before Bobby calls again.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean drove. After a minute Sam reached over and turned the tape player on. Blue Oyster Cult played most of the rest of the way._ _ _ _ _ _

______They arrived at the cemetery and met up with Bobby and Ellen. Everyone chose weapons and they headed out. When Jake arrived it was all Dean could do to keep from just killing him right then and there. Sam saw the look in Dean’s eyes and made a small gesture toward him. Dean bit back a growl and didn’t make a move physically but Sam could almost feel him take a step back, otherwise._ _ _ _ _ _

______When the four of them charged at Jake the air was sizzling with tension._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were dead.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bobby looked at Sam, who looked at Dean._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ellen’s eyes got wide. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s okay, Ellen,” Dean told her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, you killed me,” Sam told Jake. “But here’s the thing: we Winchesters have never obeyed the rules.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean smirked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jake ordered Ellen to put the gun to her head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dean.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sam.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Shoot him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Without hesitation, Dean did just that. In that same instant, Sam sped forward and wrenched the gun from Ellen’s temple. It went off, taking a corner off an angel._ _ _ _ _ _

______Seeing Ellen was safe Sam turned back to Jake. He was bleeding from the gunshot wound to his leg. Dean was standing over him, gun at the ready. Sam walked up to them._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thanks for not killing him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh I wanted to.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know. And thanks for not.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah,” Dean’s voice was soft. Sam put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Grab the Colt,” Dean told him a second later. He spoke to Jake, “try anything and I will kill you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam bent and retrieved the Colt. He tucked it into the waistband of his jeans. Dean couldn’t help letting his eyes flick to the sweet expanse of skin that he showed as he did it. Sam noticed Dean noticing and smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What are we going to go with him?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We can’t just hand him over to the cops like Gordon,” Dean told Sam._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know. We’ll think of something.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bobby stepped forward. “If he’s here then there’s a good chance that the demon is here as well.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean hoisted his gun higher. “That true?” he asked Jake._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Go to hell.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean laughed. “Not yet, man.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jake made a noise and curled on his side. Then he reached up and grabbed a big chunk of stone and ripped it off, throwing it right at Sam._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sammy!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam reacted without thinking. He threw his hand up and sent the stone flying off to one side, where it crashed. He whipped his head back and saw Jake rushing him and tried to call upon his powers again. He hadn’t moved anything with his mind since Max though and it did not come to his call so easily. Jake tumbled into his body, grabbing around him for the Colt._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sam!” Dean ran forward, not daring to shoot for fear of hitting Sam. “Sam!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jake pulled the Colt out and then backhanded Sam, who went flying. Dean ran after him, fear squeezing his heart. Bobby and Ellen both raised their guns but before they could fire Jake was back at the door and had pushed the Colt into the slot and turned it._ _ _ _ _ _

______As he did so both Bobby and Ellen shot him, multiple times._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean only heard it vaguely as he fell to his knees beside Sam. “Sam! Sammy, are you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam groaned. “Landed right on my back.” Dean went to help him sit up. “Ow.” A pause as Sam happened to look forward. “Oh shit!” He grabbed Dean and pushed them both to the ground as the army of demons and spirits washed over them like ash._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You alright?!” both Sam and Dean yelled at each other when it had passed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dean! Sam!” They scrambled up and headed for the door. Bobby was already leaning on one, trying to close it. Both boys threw their weight into it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What the hell is this thing?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“A door to Hell. We gotta close it!” Ellen shouted._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean spotted Jake’s body. “You killed him?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We kinda both did.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Man, I wanted to!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just push!” Ellen yelled at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes ma’am!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______They were almost there when Sam looked up and yelled, “Dean!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean instantly saw what Sam was looking at. “Son of a bitch!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was the yellow eyed demon, standing in the middle of the cemetery, smiling. Dean lunged away from the door, toward the Colt only to watch it fly through the air into the demon’s hand. Then Dean was flying as well, crashing into one of the tombstones, hitting his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dean!” he heard Sam shout and wanted to tell him to stay away but he didn’t have the breath. He watched as the demon pinned Sam to a tree, casually dismissed him and then same over to him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, well, Dean. I knew there was a reason I spared you last time. And you’re going around making deals with demons. I have to thank you though. I’m glad to have Sammy back. I really wanted him to win, you know. But fair’s fair.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean struggled to sit up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You leave him alone!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh Sammy, but it’s so much fun to play with him. He’s got so many buttons to be pushed.” The demon bent closer. “Did Sam tell you what I showed him? Did he tell you everything?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean gritted his teeth._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He did, didn’t he? Our honest Sammy. So you know about the blood. Doesn’t it make you wonder, Dean? Getting Sam back like that. Doesn’t it make you wonder if he didn’t come back…a little wrong?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean glared._ _ _ _ _ _

______The yellow eyed demon laughed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You sick sonuvabitch!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I told you, I’d get to you in a minute,” the demon shot over his shoulder at Sam. Thus he missed Dean’s eyes widening as he saw the smoky form behind the demon coalesce and take the shape of their dead father. The demon turned back and saw Dean’s eyes and whipped around only to be face to face with John Winchester._ _ _ _ _ _

______John wrapped his ghostly arms around the demon and forced him back around but the demon broke free with a grunt._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You think that because you clawed your way out of Hell that you can beat me, Johnny boy? Don’t make me laugh.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam had lowered his head for a moment and now raised it back up. He looked right at his brother._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dean,” was all he said. It was all that needed to be said. With no noise whatsoever the Colt flew from the demon to Dean’s waiting hand, who snapped it up and fired._ _ _ _ _ _

______The bullet impacted right at the heart. There was a crackle and then the demon fell over—dead._ _ _ _ _ _

______All 3 Winchester men stared at it for a long time. Then Dean’s face lifted. His eyes slid over John and found Sam’s. Green eyes stared into brown for long moments then found their way back to John. Dean’s head bowed, as if expecting a reprimand. Sam’s heart broke as he watched this. He moved, walking quickly over to his brother. He stepped right up to him, shoulders touching and turned to face their father’s spirit._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dad.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______John’s spirit looked from Dean to Sam. Bobby and Ellen crossed the grass but stopped some distance away. John turned to look at them briefly then turned back to his boys._ _ _ _ _ _

______The moment spun out and then John put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, the one that Sam was not touching. Dean flinched and raised his eyes out of pure reflex. John’s eyes were trying to convey…something._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dean looked away._ _ _ _ _ _

______John looked at Sam who took a deep breath and grabbed Dean’s hand. Dean’s head snapped up again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dad, it’s okay. _We’re _okay now. Dean loves me and I love him. I know it’s not what you wanted for us but we’re happy. I’m gonna find a way to break the deal with the demon and free Dean. You can move on.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean started at his little brother in astonishment. John’s eyes flickered through so many emotions so quickly Sam couldn’t follow them. Then his hands came up and clapped onto the boys’ shoulders and he smiled. He took a step back and was surrounded by light. His ghostly form was swallowed in it and he disappeared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No one said a word for a long moment. Dean continued to stare at his brother. Sam’s eyes wandered to the demon’s body lying on the grass. He walked over there, taking Dean with him since he did not let go of his hand. They both stood over the body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“All my life,” Dean finally spoke, “we’ve been looking for this bitch. And now he’s finally dead. I don’t know what to say.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam looked at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean knelt down by the body. “That was for our Mom.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam also knelt, taking Dean’s hand again. “And for Jessica.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was some time later when the four of them met up again at the Impala._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, the bodies have been taken care of,” Bobby said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How many demons or spirits or whatever do you think got out of the gate?” Dean asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hundreds,” Sam replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“The war is just starting, boys.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We know. What are you going to do?” Dean asked Ellen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know. But I can’t just sit back now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean spoke again. “I think Sam and I are gonna find a place to crash around here somewhere. It’s been,” and here he smiled, “a long day, you know?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam grinned. “Yeah, you could say that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Boys…” Bobby began but Dean cut him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We’ll call you in a couple of days, Bobby?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Uh, sure Dean,” Bobby said after seeing the look in Dean’s eye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Thanks,” Sam felt compelled to say as he headed toward his usual shotgun seat. Dean slid behind the wheel and gunned the engine. He gave a little wave to Bobby and Ellen and then took off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Where are we going?” Sam asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Dunno. I need a shower though.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We need to take care of your head.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And your back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They drove._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t believe we did it. I can’t believe we got the thing that killed Mom.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And Jess.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And Jess.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean was still stunned. He wouldn’t even let himself process the rest of it though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They found a small out of the way motel and Dean checked them in using the name ‘Chuck Heston’. They grabbed their overnight bags from the car and walked to the room. It was done in the usual style these dives they stayed at were done in. At least this time there were no nymphettes on the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You want first shower?” Dean asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No. You shouldn’t take yours yet, we need to look at your head.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’ll be fine. I need to get clean first.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam chose not to argue and watched his brother head into the bathroom. Dean undressed and turned on the water, happy that it was actually hot. Sometimes you only got lukewarm, if you were lucky. He climbed in, wincing when the water hit the gash on his head. He’d only been in there a few minutes when he heard the door open and Sam come in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m gonna be a few minutes more, Sam.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam did not reply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you gotta pee that’s fine, just don’t flush.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Still no reply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sammy?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The curtain was pulled back by a very naked Sam, who stepped into the shower with him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sam, what are you doing?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Joining you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can see that. Can’t you wait a few minutes? Then the shower will be all yours.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Maybe I want to share. Ever think of that, Dean?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean gaped at him. Then his eyes flickered down--he couldn’t help it--and he licked his lips. He had seen Sammy naked before, them being brothers and all but not like this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sam—“ He tried one more time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Dean. Shut up.” Sam moved right into his space and kissed him. Dean groaned against those soft lips, arms coming and holding Sam close, afraid to let go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam let go of his mouth and started kissing his way down his neck. Dean held on, his legs trembling. This was so much better than he had ever fantasized. So. Much. Better. But he still held onto a semblance of sanity._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sam, you don’t have to do this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam brought his head back up and looked into his brother’s eyes. “I know you were kinda shell-shocked and all but I’m pretty sure you heard me earlier. You know, to Dad.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean looked confused._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Maybe you didn’t. When I told him that you love me and I love you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know that,” Dean protested._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I wasn’t just talking about the brother thing, Dean.” Sam planted a soft kiss on Dean’s lips. “I meant I’m in love with you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean blinked. Hard. “He killed me, didn’t he? The yellow eyed demon. He killed me and this is Hell.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam frowned. “What? Why would you think that? If anything this would be Heaven. Wouldn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, it’d be Hell,” Dean assured him. “Hell is hearing your brother say he’s in love with you and knowing he doesn’t mean it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam stepped back. “What makes you think I don’t mean it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Cause you’re straight, Sam.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I thought you were too,” Sam pointed out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah but I wasn’t in a serious relationship with a girl. I didn’t live with a girl. I didn’t almost marry a girl.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Cassie—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Doesn’t even come close. Tell me, Sam, have you ever had any kind of sex thoughts about me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Dean—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Before today I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Dean—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Any ‘in love’ kinda thoughts?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Any kinda ‘in love’ or sex thoughts about any guys?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No but—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“See? You’re not gay, you’re not even bi, you’re not even whatever the hell I said earlier about liking girls but being in love with your brother. Sam,” and here Dean looked right at his brother, “you just came back from the dead. You’re feeling grateful or something or maybe you think you owe me or maybe you pity me or—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam slammed Dean back into the wall of the shower stall. Dean lost his breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You listen to me, Dean Winchester. It’s true I’ve never thought about you that way. It’s true I’ve never had a gay thought in my life. I loved Jess. I still do. But I am in love with you. I want to have sex with you. I want us to be together in every way. I want,” and here Sam looked embarrassed, “I want us to make love and be in love and do all that kinda stuff that will make you call me a girl. Not because I pity you or am grateful you sold your soul to save me. Gotta say I’m actually still kinda pissed that you did that. And I will find a way to get you out of it because now that I’ve found you? I’m never letting you go.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean wanted to make some comment about how cheesy and girly that sounded. He wanted to laugh it off, make a joke. He wanted to…hell, he wanted to believe it all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You did,” came out of his mouth before he could stop himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Did what?” Sam asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let me go. Before.” Dean screamed at his mouth to shut up but it just wouldn’t listen. “When you left m—us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sam’s eyes got soft. His arms came up around his brother and held him loosely, but he did not pull him into a hug. He looked him in the eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know. I know that hurt you, Dean. And now I understand just how much and why. But this was why I left.” He felt Dean trying to withdraw. “Not because of how you feel about me. Because of this.” He gestured vaguely. “Because we’ve both died doing this. I wanted us to be safe Dean. Not to have to make deals with demons in order to live.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean tried to turn his face away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t be sorry I left, Dean, only _how _I left. I wish I’d talked to you more about it. I wish…I wish I had asked you to come with me.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean gaped. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to. But I knew if it came down to a choice between me and Dad you’d pick Dad.” Sam’s eyes were soft with sorrow and pain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean grabbed his face and forced those eyes back to his. “You’re an idiot.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sam smiled a laugh. “Maybe. But if I had asked you that night would you have come with me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Dean thought about it. “I don’t know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And if I ask you to come with me now?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“ _Come with me and be my love _,” Sam recited.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dude, did you hit your head?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s a poem, Dean. The first line of a poem by John Donne. I’m tryin’ to be romantic here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh.” Dean blushed. “Come with you where?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam laughed. “Where ever. The point is, I want to be with you. I love you. And I won’t leave you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean turned his face away, afraid of showing what he felt. “You can’t promise that, Sam. You said it before.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What? When?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“After you came back from meeting Meg. ‘You’re stuck with me’ you said. But you still left me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam’s big hands found Dean’s face and turned it to face his own. “But I didn’t know I was in love with you then, Dean. Though maybe I should have,” he muttered softly. “Maybe I have been all along.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sam…” but Dean was cut off by the water suddenly becoming ice cold. “Whoa!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Jesus!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They scrambled to turn the water off, laughing when they did. “I guess we were in here longer than I thought,” Dean said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah and you never did get to take your shower,” Sam replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s okay. I wasn’t really that dirty.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam looked at Dean’s head. “We do need to take care of that,” he nodded at the gash._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah,” Dean said passively. He felt drained. Wrapping towels around themselves Sam led Dean out of the bathroom and to the bed, sitting him down on it. He found their first aid kit and set about taking care of his brother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ow!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________‘Oh you’ve had worse you big baby.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Nice, Sammy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Want me to kiss it and make it all better?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean froze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I guess that means yes,” Sam laughed. He bent forward and pressed a delicate kiss to his brother’s head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sam.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam leaned in to kiss Dean’s lips. He pulled back to whisper, “I love you.” Another kiss. “I need you.” Kiss. “I will never, ever leave you.” A harder kiss this time. “Believe me, Dean.” A softer kiss again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean shut his eyes hard and then opened them again. He stared up at his little brother for a long moment and then stood. The towel caught on the edge of the bed and slid off his body but he didn’t even notice. He stepped into his brother’s space, wrapped his arms around Sammy’s neck and pulled his head down. He claimed those lips with a bruising kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I love you, Sammy. And I’ll take anything you want to give me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam took note of those words and knew that Dean did not believe him. Not yet. He knew it would take time but he intended to convince his brother of the truth. Until then…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He pulled back from the kiss and smiled. “Hey, wanna have wild monkey sex?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean broke up laughing. “I think maybe we should save that,” he said when he finally stopped. “After all, your back and all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And your head and all. Fine, nothing too strenuous tonight,” Sam nodded. “How about some kissing, actually a lot of kissing, and some touching and some making out and maybe some frottage?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean hid a smile. “You wanna have cheese?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dean!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You are so easy, Sammy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Only for you,” he assured his brother, gasping at the heat that rose in Dean’s eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You bet your sweet ass only for me,” Dean growled, rage rising at the thought of Sam with any other guy. Or girl for that matter. “If we do this Sam, you’re mine. Only mine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam nodded, dumbstruck at the possessiveness in Dean’s voice and shocked at how much it turned him on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No more Jess’s, Sarah’s, Madison’s, any of them.” Dean wanted to be sure Sam got this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No more,” Sam agreed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Say it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I just did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean shook his head. “Say it, Sammy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And Sam suddenly understood. “I’m yours.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean groaned. How long he’d been waiting to hear that!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam was amazed. He stepped forward and put his arms around Dean’s naked waist. He bent down and put his mouth right next to Dean’s ear. “I belong only to you. I’m yours to do with as you please. Kiss me, touch me, make love to me all night long, fuck me until I scream your name over and over again. I’m yours Dean. All yours, forever.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Dean nearly passed out from the words. “God! Wanna—“ he stopped himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Wild monkey sex?” Sam teased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I wish we could,” Dean said mournfully. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I don’t want to hurt you either,” Sam told him. He led Dean to the bed. They laid down on it together, getting comfy and wrapping body parts around each other until they were intertwined._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sleep now,” Sam told Dean. He was lying on his side, back off the mattress to keep from hurting, stroking a hand over Dean’s silky flesh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mmmm,” Dean muttered, already almost asleep. He hoped—oh he how he hoped!—that this was not a dream._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam knew what his brother was thinking and smiled, kissed his hair and said softly, “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And Dean smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________End_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


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